First day of school again! I can't believe I'm getting to see Monster High again after having traveled the world with my parents over the summer. It's not exactly the best school campus, I gotta admit: there's the issue of being more accomodating to water monsters like Finn and me, especially the ones who can't get around on land that well. I have a tail and no legs, and while I can flop and slide about on my own quite well, those stairs (and those classes on the top floors!) are a bit of a pain. But hey, it's otherwise a great place to be with my friends, and I won't really have it any other way.
Took a friend and some of their kids over to the Monster State Fair and guess what: they had height restrictions and they made me get on the kiddie rides because I'm just 4'11 at "standing height". What a load of kelp, I'd be like, 9-something feet from head to fin? But since on land I can only kind of "kneel" on my tail this poses technicalities I never even bothered about. This is worse than the time I got kicked out of a shop for not wearing shoes: what the heck, people?
Another morning, another school day. Hard to believe that school's begun again, I wake up and stretch out in my bathtub, vacation mode still lingering in my head. Being a siren living on land, it's the closest I got to being in my element, and it's certainly more comfy than a bed. (Or even a water bed, since the water's inside!) As always I get ready and dressed up for school. I comb out my hair, which is starting to grow past my shoulders (I've been thinking of cutting it shorter...) and I put on my usual attire, first my Gill-Aide breathing apparatus (can't breathe well in air without it!) my tail-kneepad, and my trademark bling and hoodie. I'm at least lucky enough not to need shoes or pants, haha!
Dad's away again as usual so I just ride the bus to school. I can't exactly drive because of my tail and that's always an issue, plus there are mean guys like that werewolf who complained that the bus "smells like fish" when I got on. Hey, at least I don't smell like some unwashed jungle dog like that dude!
I can't take this anymore! I got a big test tommorrow but I've just studied way too much. So here I am, chilling my scales in the tub and reading a comic book. It's not exactly the best of days I've seen, especially now my older sister's come home and is cooking dinner. She calls it "fish fingers in soy sauce". I'd call it "Exxon Valdez". Ugh.
Test went pretty well, it was Oceanography and I guess I did well. At lunch today it rained and everyone shrieked and ran for cover. Well, not me, since the water is like, my thing, if you get my drift! So I just sat there in the school park's bench getting rained on and before you know it the girls are freaking out since I unknowingly started singing and a siren's song makes them swoon. Oops. That was kinda embarassing. I tried to flop away and hide in the library, but the librarian complained I was leaving wet fin-prints everywhere. It was a really absurd day. At least I got an A+ in the test!
I skipped an awful lot of days from school, because my sister's meals are really making me sick. At least Mom's cooking again and that's always a plus... Today we also had a singing assembly on stage. Being a siren, singing is my number one thing (next to swimming, that is)! So my sirenical nature gets the best of me, and I'm being a total ham on the stage, hopping around and laying on the floor and basically acting like a complete freak. If any pictures of these ever come out I will be incredibly embarassed. I might as well move to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and never come out again.
I ran into Clawdeen and Deuce at the mall and Clawdeen saw me and joked "Yo Michael, got any great ghostly tunes today?" Well sweet Triton's ghost, so they DO know about that assembly! Abbey Bominable must have gotten her snowy paws on clips of that performance! I was so nervous I sweated a lot, good thing I'm usually wet anyway so it doesn't show too much. I flopped home a very confused and embarassed merman and first thing I did was flop down in the tub, I was just really, really tired. Mom did remind me that it was time for our pet octopus to get her shots at the vet. She doesn't like them. So another hour of flopping to the vet office with a jittery cephalopod clamped to my tail.
I went to school, but I covered my face with my hoodie. I was so embarassed about what happened that I just couldn't show my face in public. Everyone just seemed to be judging, even Frankie's dog Watzit (who chomped on my fin, that darn mutt) ,and then I saw Opretta and Holt walking down the hall and shook their heads at me...Holt took a deep breath and said to me "ummm Michael? You know its not polite to stare..." But I wasn't! Really this day is the worst ever. During Boo-ology class I had to pretend that my breathing device was having problems and I was having an aquasthma attack because everyone was staring at me. Even Finnegan, who is normally cool with me, was kind of freaked out. I don't know how I can live with this!
Oh no...that video of me has gone viral on BooTube! "Michael J. Merman, the Singing Siren Sensation" has racked up almost a million views and everyone's talking about it. Some going wow, some hating, and some just plain freaked out. How can I handle this fame?
I've been reading BooTube comments on that vid. Some are really weird, like "OMG HE IS A DARLING FISHY I WANNA SMOOCH HIS SCALY FACE", some are somewhat heartwarming "KUDOS TO A TALENTED AND PASSIONATE MERMAN. I REALLY WISH HIM THE BEST", some are kinda mean "YOU CALL THAT SINGING? HE SOUNDS LIKE A BEACHED ORCA SCREAMING. HE HAS NO TALENT" and one total jerk even went "THAT SLIMY FREAK. I WANNA TURN HIM INTO SUSHI AND CAT FOOD LOL" Yikes. Well I guess BooTube comments are kinda like real life, you meet all sort of folks and all sorts of craziness, love, hate, whatever, too.
Holy cod, a local talent show has taken interest in my vid and wants me to take an audition in their show! On one hand, I'm kind of thrilled that I'd just get to sing on stage and I just really like singing, but on the other hand I'm kinda nervous about all the people. I'd always been the shy, sensitive type and I doubt I'd be able to show myself in public just yet. Maybe I'll give it a try. Who knows, I just might gain something from this whole fiasco...
Mom and Dad are pretty supportive about the whole thing. Mom did warn me not to make it too "enchanting" because I might make passing cars crash or something like those ships of old, haha Mom has a weird sense of humor. I'm really preparing a whole lot for this event, singing in the tub and really just getting the feel of it. Even Clamantha is loving the music!
Today's the big day!!! We're lining up outside to begin the audition to "THE NEXT MONSTER IDOL" and there is some serious competition. There is Balerie Durinsbain, the fire-hooping Balrog girl (hope she doesn't torch the stage!), Oscar the Operatic Ogre (he looks big and mean but he has a pretty and kinda feminine voice), the duet of the conjoined lion and goat twins Kaye and Kim Meera (they just keep arguing while their snake-headed tail just sleeps round their waist like a living belt) and finally there is Torri the Taotie and his eating stunts of 100 burgers in one minute (that is both unhealthy and gross. Ugh). With a lot of crazy stuff coming on this week I have second thoughts...am I really ready for this?
MADE IT IN THE FIRST ROUND! HOORAY! So we're chopped down to three contestants. Torri the Taotie got sick after the 84th burger and was rushed to a hospital, while Kaye & Kim Meera just didn't do well together in their duet and their tail was misbehaving the whole time. So it's just Balerie, Oscar and me left for the semifinals. Balerie wowed the judges by spinning a flaming baton and hula hoops on fire, while Oscar sang the Vampyria national anthem and brought the audience to tears. I made my own rendition of the old siren songs Mom used to sing to me as a little merkid and well, they were...mesmerized. To be honest I'm not sure if they genuinely enjoyed it or if it was just the spell of my song, but I got high hopes that I'll make it through the semifinals and get the confidence to win this!